“I am slowly discovering how to miss you in ways that keep me in one piece.”
Anonymous asked:
do you think he misses me like i miss him sometimes?
I don’t know sweetheart. Maybe he does. Maybe some nights he misses you so much he can’t sleep. Maybe he tosses and he turns and he picks up his phone and thinks about dialling your number. Maybe when he gets drunk on the weekends he calls his new girlfriend by your name.
Maybe he still thinks about you every day. Or, every other day. Maybe he regrets ending it. Or he wishes he hadn’t let you go so easily. Maybe he still has your t-shirt. Your scarf. Something else you left behind. It doesn’t smell like you anymore, but he thinks it does.
Maybe he still talks to his friends about you. Dreams about you. Wishes you would get in touch. Maybe he wonders how you are, whether you’ve found love. Maybe he hopes that you haven’t.
So yes, maybe he does miss you. Maybe he misses you with every fibre of his being.
But maybe he doesn’t.
And probably, he doesn’t.
In any case, you owe it to yourself to stop living in a world of maybe’s. You deserve so much more.
Sweetheart, stop chasing a ghost. You deserve so much more.
“Two and a half years later, we sit across from each other. How are you? You ask. Well. I say. What I want to say is: I don’t really know what I’m doing here. Or, rather, you haven’t changed a bit. Or, you look exactly the same as on the day you left. I am stuck between keeping my distance and treating you the way I used to. Letting down my guard completely. It is so easy to slip into. But I could never do it if you didn’t do the same. We swap stories; updates. Everything seems so superficial. I don’t dare ask if these days you are happy. Though, I hope that you are. I tell you that I’m moving to a different city next month. You comment on the different colour of my hair. I don’t tell you that sometimes I still think about the way that you left. That it still colours my relationships; that I still worry that some happinesses are too good to be true. You tell me that your parents are getting divorced. You’ve finally realised that love never lasts. I don’t say anything. I have no evidence to the contrary. Yet, after a while, I say I think you’re wrong. You shrug your shoulders and let it fill the silence. Once, we would have argued for hours. As you stand to leave, I realise that I am no longer in love with you. I no longer know you. You are a stranger in a familiar body. And yet I do not recognise your hands. If you touched me now, I do not know whether it would feel like fire or ice. Maybe both. Maybe neither.”— Sue Zhao // Meeting somebody you loved after a long time
(via blossomfully)
